Change

Change comes along everyday.
Some days he wears black and some days he wears yellow.
He rings the door bell and arrives at my door step.
I run up and peek through the hole to see him.
Then God comes behind me, and holds me, and He doesn't let me go.
Not even when I fling the door wide open and black Change successfully pulls me away sometimes.
But I'm like an elastic band- God just makes sure I snap back to Him once I've gone too far out.
Change is fun. But too much of Change could hurt.
It already does.
I'm just so blessed that I've got God holding me so tightly.
HEY LORD! BEAR HUGGGGGGGG!!!! :)

doing research
be right back k

How to know a Liling in a moment (TM)

Karaoke:

1. Get a human organiser like Cara so you won't be bombarded by messages.

2. Have sufficient cash. (30 bucks ++)

3. Invite friends.

4. FRIENDS Criteria: (they can be)

A. Best friends 

B. Singers 

C. Friends who know how to shake it

D. Wild

E. Unhigh at the start but REALLY HIGH once we get into the mood

F. Friends who are true friends because they share their bottled water with you when you're going hoarse

5. Songs: Love Drunk by Boys like Girls / The Takeover, The Break's Over by FOB

6. GET READY + TURN IT UP

7. Scream the lines:

LOVE DRUNK:

"You made me want you oh-so-bad it hurt but girl.. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD..." /  "I loved you forever, BUT NOW IT'S OVERRRR" / " ALL THE TIME I WASTED ON YOU, ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH, I'M CHECKING INTO REHAB COS EVERYTHING WE HAD DIDN'T MEAN A THING TO YOUUUU" / 

(In between: Get up on the sofa and dance/play air guitar/scream and take turns singing into the mike)

THE TAKE OVER, THE BREAK'S OVER:

"Baby, seasons change but people don't" / "DON'T PRETEND YOU EVER FORGOT ABOUT ME, DON'T PRETEND YOU EVER FORGOT ABOUT MEHHHHHH"

8. JUMP JUMP JUMP 

9. Take photos

10. Squeeze in LOVE DRUNK again when the person-in-charge says she'll give you extra time
11. REPEAT Steps 6 - 9.

12. IT'S A WRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST FRIENDS GET OVER THEIR BROKEN HEARTS TOGETHER \m/

we're mfeo.

acronym for made for each other

 { I love you baby
I mean it more than just
the whole world
And well
when I know your sin
I know your sin
I know your wings }

I MISS YOU.

SIAN.

I AM O.K.

Deano

Some more surf comes over my face and I look over to the left and I see this sea lion, just sitting three metres away from me, just staring at me like I'm a fuckwit.

I stare back at the sea lion and the two of us stay like that for ages, checking each other out. Man and animal. Not knowing why the fuck we're even alive. Just running on instinct and trying to squeeze as much fun into a shit life as we can.

Nige

And I wish there could be a way I didn't have to go back to the world, cos the world is a mean place. And I think I'd be better off away from it all, somewhere far away from here, just me and myself ... and maybe Gav can come over for the occasional spot, and Monica for some sex, but other than that ... I just wanna be alone.

Nige

Anyway, so I thought Monica might like it if I have empathised with her as a woman. These are all ideas Gav taught me- he's quite into treating women like they're human beings, and the more I think about it, the more I think, yeah, he's right. 

Like, if I see a pretty girl all I'm thinkin about is what her breasts might look like, and, you know, rooting potential - I'm not thinking about her feelings and that.

And I'm thinkin maybe it's time to grow up and start thinking about Monica's feelings. Like, start each day with a nice thought, like, ' I wonder if Monica has had enough sleep,' - stuff like that, and just become an all-round nicer person.

Like, what's wrong with being nice? Deano thinks there's something wrong with being nice - like it's a weakness or something. But Deano, as the Maoris would say, 'to hamuti,' which means, 'You're full of shit.'

I like the second paragraph the most.
It just reminds me of stuff.
It's 2 days to Valentine's Day but I don't believe in it.
Got crazy when my crush wished me when I was 12.
I remember I was jumping like nuts on the street until my feet hurt so bad and all the people in their cars were laughing.
I just think that Love can be celebrated anytime.
After all, it is my birthday everyday:)
You know what.
I wanna sit by the edge of a cliff, listen to the roar of the ocean and watch the white water spray in all directions.
Someone go to Australia with me.
And we'll go paragliding / swimming / sandboarding / EVERYTHING and we'll sleep in the same bed and talk till we fall asleep and then wake up to blueberry pancakes with golden maple syrup and watch a million sunrises together and get down to the beach and do crazy stuff or pick up sea shells.
I live in the wrong country.
BEACH + SUN + SAND + WIND + WATER OMG WATERRRRRR
:(

ANGEL says:
 no poRk no lard
 whats lard ah?
Ling - - -- - (L) says:
 i dont know
 i dont know what is ghee either
 but both sound disgusting
ANGEL says:
 alright la
 normal
 (;
 NI YOU MAO BING
 you hve hair disease
 hahaha
Ling - - -- - (L) says:
  HAHA
 HAHA
 HAHAHA HAIR DISEASE what the SHITTT

I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever I surf the net and find illustrators and artwork that is up to my capability but I haven't acted out on creating one yet.
GOAL FOR TODAY: PAINT.

I don't like missing someone if he/she doesn't miss me back.
It's retarded.
It's like squeezing my heart dry.
Egocentric guys are losers.

Two Little Boys:

When Monica shows me to the door I say to her, 'I love you,' and she says, 'Don't say that, Nige,' and I say, 'But it's true,' and she says, 'You need to see a shrink, Nige. Are you still living with Deano?'

'Nah, I got out. Me and Deano aren't best mates anymore, Monz. I don't even hang out with him. I've really changed.'

'Well, next time you see Deano, why don't you ask him where my Kate Bush CD is, where my Beatles Abbey Road CD is, where my Billy Bragg is, where all my fucking Bowie CDs are?'

'Eh?'

'He stole my B section, Nige. He stole the entire B section out of my CD collection.'

(And then I started laughing. Then "LINGGG!! DINNNEEERRRR!!!" And I go "Orhhh!!!")

Sometimes I only have one thing to say but I go on and on about it.

You know why?

Because I can.

Your mom is your mom and I am me.

So suck it up and live with it.

Moving on.

If I had a band, I'd name it The Tralalas.

Because I want it to be Christmas all year round.

But then again, Christ is born only once, so I might be forgetting what the whole meaning of Christmas is.

This train of thought is good.

Because I think before carrying actions out.

Then maybe I save 70% of my mind from regret.

So today I decided to go out. 

Alone. 

There's nothing wrong with going out alone, especially if you're doing shopping.

At least people don't drag you around and in the end you don't get to go to the places you want to.

Unless you've got loads of common interest with that person.

Or if you don't give in easily- which I do, so people take advantage of me and I get pissed and then everyone's unhappy (haha).

So I lined my upper lid and dabbed turquoise/blue eyeshadow along the under eye. 

I looked like a mysterious tropical bird lady but I didn't care.

Point: I put make up because it's fun- it's art.

I still feel 100% confident without it. That's what I realised during the week after my cousin said a girl looks more natural without make up.

I was watching an episode of Desperate Housewives and the little girl asked Eva Longoria: "Mommy, when can I put makeup?"

And Eva Longoria replied: "The day you know you don't need it."

I'm really thankful to have my cousin Carrina around, she's God-sent for this season of my life man.

Went to That CD Shop at Pacific Plaza.

Walked up the stairs and I fell down.

I was like SHIT and everyone looked at me and then I picked up my bag and walked up, like nothing happened.

I bent my nail. Who the hell falls on their nails when they try to break their fall?!

My nail doesn't hurt anymore but I'm afraid it might break off if I don't watch it carefully.

That CD Shop didn't have The XX's album. Lousy.

So to avoid further embarrassment ("Oh that's the girl who fell down just now right" kind of scenarios), I took the escalator down and walked out from the back, past the first floor's cashier and went all the way to Borders.

I bought "The Swan Thieves" then I found another book, "Two Little Boys".

So I refunded The Swan Thieves and bought Two Little Boys.

I obviously went to a different cashier.

Two Little Boys has got an F word on every page but it's hilarious and that's what I need.

Nothing has made me laugh much this whole week.

Everyone's gone.

Not literally, but crudely put.. they're gone.

Off to school, off to work, off to sleep, off to Taiwan and I'm lazy to call or talk.

So it's just You and me Lord.

At Borders I was waiting in line (duh) and I thought "Hi God" and a fuzzy feeling swept over me and He was like "Hey".

You guys probably think I'm crazy but that's how personal God gets.

He rocks.

Then later I got a Sephora eyeshadow brush (MISSION ACCOMPLISHED) and now I'm going to town again.

To meet Angel and Eric and sometimes we get stuck in shit situations where we absolutely have nowhere to go.

But do I care? 

No.

As if you do.

Yeah I'm half angry, half at peace.

I remember what Liyana told me when I asked her "what if there's a God".

And she said "I would ask Him to take me away from here."

True.

Jenny Curran: Were you scared in Vietnam? Forrest Gump: Yes. Well, I-I don't know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out... and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water... like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It's so beautiful. Jenny Curran: I wish I could've been there with you. Forrest Gump: You were.

$0.00

I'm angry.

I am a performer and when you do not allow me to perform, I sulk.

But this attitude is wrong.
Why am I trying to find perfection in my pride when I am nothing?

Then I realise:
This is the price I have to pay for learning how to be humble.
The splintered wreckage I have to swallow down, piece by piece.
I will remember that God loves the humble and contrite heart and that He opposes the proud.
Lifeng said "When he opposes you, it will be painful, so it's better to be humble."
I will give my all to doing something if I am asked to do it.
And if my help isn't needed, I will give my full blessings but still be available.
I have to keep remembering that these things are temporary.
I may be forgotten but at least God, You don't forget about me.
So when I'm left alone in my party dress, I have You to hold onto.
And my make up shall not run.
I shall be joyful and rejoice.

The similarities of you and I: we're both performers.
But even if I'm at the backstage, I will remain there.
And when I am called to showcase my talent, I will rise to the occasion because I have Jesus.
And He is my humility, He is my righteousness.
He is my BEST.
He will hold my hand and walk me to the stage, in front of the audience.
He will empower me to be my BEST; to be who God made me to be.
And that is what I want.
Not credit, not recognition.
But heart.

How to know a Liling in a moment:

[ CAUTION BEING OF UTMOST PRIORITY ]

- Good Enough

When a Liling is in a Party mood but she can't go party that night/does not wanna rub against sweaty people, follow these steps to KNOW A LILING IN A MOMENT (TM):

1. Time of the day: 10 PM till late

2. Sit on a comfortable-enough-chair in front of a borderless view of houses + street lights + moving, beeping cars on the road + a cool breeze

3. Have a Coke (Coke light is preferred)

4. Prop a laptop on your lap with a yellow bulb overhead (this provides a warm, cosy feel)

5. Turn on Boys&Girls by Pixie Lott

6. Have a best friend around and enough space to shake some hip

7. If you live in an apartment, do not, I repeat, DO NOT FALL OFF THE LEDGE

8. Indulge.

- Boys Suck

When a Liling feels like she is abandoned by a boy (who ate her heart then vomited it out and handed it back to her- ewww right?!) but knows that it is for the best, follow these steps to KNOW A LILING IN A MOMENT (TM):

1. Song: I Look So Good Without You by Jessie James (at full blast)

2. Turn on the air conditioner in your room

3. Wind down the blinds/ close the curtains/ make sure no neighbours peep unless you're training to become the neighbourhood's porn star

4. Strip

5. Have a nice relaxing shower at a temperature that does not cause hypothermia or burns (Shampoo: Herbal Essences or if you have dandruff like I do when I'm under stress, use the white version of Head&Shoulders Smooth and Silky. Bath: Johnson's Baby Milk Bath is preferred)

6. Sing along

7. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile and love yourself and sing somemore (especially the line "hey, I never would have thought that, when you left me, I'd feel sexy and so good in my skinnn againnn")

8. Ring a girlfriend like Angel (she'll tell you that you look sexy in a blue dress LITERALLY)

9. OR if you have a really cool cousin who knows you inside out and there's nothing to hide between you and her

10. Dress up, watch a movie - have a girl's night out <3

It is 11.11 AM.

I'm going to meet Lifeng at Adam Road Food Centre.

Apparently she has a craving for carrot cake and I really want some soya bean milk.

Therefore, I'M OFF.

(I miss using 'therefore' symbols in Math)

Today, I want to tell you guys to: Love yourself.

Because you're worth it.

(Maybe it's Maybelline!)