Monday, February 1, 2010

How to know a Liling in a moment:


- Good Enough
When a Liling is in a Party mood but she can't go party that night/does not wanna rub against sweaty people, follow these steps to KNOW A LILING IN A MOMENT (TM):
1. Time of the day: 10 PM till late
2. Sit on a comfortable-enough-chair in front of a borderless view of houses + street lights + moving, beeping cars on the road + a cool breeze
3. Have a Coke (Coke light is preferred)
4. Prop a laptop on your lap with a yellow bulb overhead (this provides a warm, cosy feel)
5. Turn on Boys&Girls by Pixie Lott
6. Have a best friend around and enough space to shake some hip
7. If you live in an apartment, do not, I repeat, DO NOT FALL OFF THE LEDGE
8. Indulge.

- Boys Suck
When a Liling feels like she is abandoned by a boy (who ate her heart then vomited it out and handed it back to her- ewww right?!) but knows that it is for the best, follow these steps to KNOW A LILING IN A MOMENT (TM):
1. Song: I Look So Good Without You by Jessie James (at full blast)
2. Turn on the air conditioner in your room
3. Wind down the blinds/ close the curtains/ make sure no neighbours peep unless you're training to become the neighbourhood's porn star
4. Strip
5. Have a nice relaxing shower at a temperature that does not cause hypothermia or burns (Shampoo: Herbal Essences or if you have dandruff like I do when I'm under stress, use the white version of Head&Shoulders Smooth and Silky. Bath: Johnson's Baby Milk Bath is preferred)
6. Sing along
7. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile and love yourself and sing somemore (especially the line "hey, I never would have thought that, when you left me, I'd feel sexy and so good in my skinnn againnn")
8. Ring a girlfriend like Angel (she'll tell you that you look sexy in a blue dress LITERALLY)
9. OR if you have a really cool cousin who knows you inside out and there's nothing to hide between you and her
10. Dress up, watch a movie - have a girl's night out <3

It is 11.11 AM.
I'm going to meet Lifeng at Adam Road Food Centre.
Apparently she has a craving for carrot cake and I really want some soya bean milk.
Therefore, I'M OFF.
(I miss using 'therefore' symbols in Math)
Today, I want to tell you guys to: Love yourself.
Because you're worth it.
(Maybe it's Maybelline!)

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