Friday, April 23, 2010

Greater Things Are Yet To Come

Sharing at cell was about to start when I just HAD TO go to the toilet.
I opened my black notebook to a fresh new page and took a stroll to the Ladies'.
In the toilet, I was obviously doing my business and thanking God about how He has provided me with the time and opportunities to spend time with my friends.
(Honestly, while sitting on the toilet bowl is the best time to think about stuff.)
Like to be able to come for cell, to have been able to spend personal time with Belle, Cara, Kel, Koe and surprisingly, Shawn.
I have never felt more satisfied than to let my friends know that I love them, that I make an effort to make time for them and to catch up or simply goof around.

As I went back to cell and approached my notebook, I noticed a different type of handwriting on it.
Diane (who was sitting next to me) wrote me a note in my book saying that she was glad that I came for cell and that she misses seeing/talking to me.
As I listened to Diane share about her week, I wanted to cry right then.
My heart melted and as it did, all my defenses broke down too.
Because being in SP for the entire week, I had felt so alone even if I am accepted to a certain extent but not to the level that I can call them 'family' just yet.
Diane's note was like a warm hug that represented how my cell accepts me for who I am.

Cell is like family.
Cell is where we'll never grow bored of each other because of God's love that unites us all, we keep learning, we keep picking each other up, we edify each other - we never give up on anybody.
Cell is the epitome of Empathy.
And Empathy is such an important factor to me as a person who has feelings, who has emotions, who makes mistakes, who wants a taste of redemption and forgiveness.
And I'm just amazed and in awe of how, over the years, God has bonded us that the soul ties between us all are so strong, that we can feel each other's hurt not because of the expression upon each other's faces but from the heart. From within our souls.
Cell is like family.
Cell is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm never letting you guys go.

Tonight's lesson was about Choices.
Earlier during the day when I came back from school, I asked God to give me a message that would speak to me.
And today's message was exactly what I needed to hear.
For the entire week, I had been the lousiest Christian ever.
Whether in terms of holding back my tongue, self-control or habitual sin - I failed in all those areas.
So tonight Gerald summed up the lesson saying that "you can make all the worst decisions in your life, but when it comes to the point where you're a hundred years old, the choice you make about spending eternity with God is the most important one. One good decision outweighs all the other bad decisions you've ever made."

So his point was about whether we make the choice to come back to God, to tell Him we're sorry and that after telling Him "i never ever want to talk to you forever, im walking out on You, God", that we realise it can't always be Every Man For Himself 'forever'.
We still need to rely on Someone, it's how we're made.
And I felt so relieved when I understood the lesson because I had made the choice to look to Him again and you know what's awesome about God?
He gives us chance after chance to change.
I have never forgotten what Joseph told me and never will: He puts no limit on the number of chances He gives us, because He loves us enough to let us change, even if we abuse the free will He has given us most of the times - He does not resent the fact that we have made bad decisions, He actually respects them.
Miss Gamar said she doesn't define our mistakes as wrongdoing, she defines them as "mis-take".
So we have another take when we fail the first time round, we get another chance to correct what we've done wrong/ couldn't answer again.

Tonight after cell, Diane and I were talking outside Caltex.
And she told me that she was prompted to tell me that I'm the type of person who does something wrong, realises it then blame myself and ask myself "why am I made this way, why am I like that".
And she told me that I don't have to be afraid of circumstances or making mistakes because truly, my weaknesses are made PERFECT in Jesus and that's all that matters.

"The more weaknesses you have, the more powerful God is in you."

Today we were assigned a piece of work and that is to write 500 words about who you think is your hero and why.
My hero is Jesus:)
Because He has taught me that imperfection can be made perfect in Him.
He has seen all of the wrongdoings I haven't committed yet and have already forgiven them long before they are executed.
That is my Jesus.
That is my hero:)
2nd hero = My Dad/Mom:)

Lord, You're so worth it, and truly, the greatest gift in all my life is knowing You, loving You and serving You.

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