Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Say cheeeeeezzzzz.
You know when you wanna be cool for a second?
Then something pops up and sparks off your excitement?
[ Like the XX/ Kings of Convenience/ Paramore coming to Singapore??? ]
And you start running around in circles like some dog?
I hate it when that happens to me.
Not that I run around in circles and not that I'm some dog (if I were a dog, I'd be the hottest dog in the world like a HOTdog),
But it's just that I'm sixteen and I don't see girls my age going nuts like I do.
Okay, maybe they do. (I mean come on, even Cara says if I were an animal in the African jungle, I'd be a rhino)
But the general population doesn't act the way I do.
Maybe that's why I feel normal around all my friends!
Because they're the nutty minority:)
I'm actually quite afraid of myself sometimes.
Like I'm the victim of too much globalisation aka pop culture's influence.
Or is this just me? With crazy spirals and flashing lightning bolts flying across my mind every few seconds?!
I can actually imagine myself holding a beer bottle standing on the top of Orchard Ion declaring I'm Queen of the Galaxy.
Most of the time I wonder how I'm ever going to 'evolve' into a woman.
Even the word 'woman' sounds distant to me.
Sure, I call my friends 'woman' but to be called one = :O :O :O
Maybe you guys should call me 'woman' more often. Geez!!!
So you know what?
Since I obviously can't behave like one now, I'm not gonna let anyone kill off the kid in me.
But I guess people look past behaviour and look at the heart eh?
Ah I contradict myself so much.
Yeah yeah and everything goes on in my mind (how do I remember everything you say to me?):

I think I've got a weird gene in my blood.
Like some rebellious/angry cell that keeps multiplying furiously in me.
It's horrid.
Like I'm always described as dramatic or wrath at its maximum.
Sigh. Somebody save me from myself.
God where are You.
Can you just throw me your R.E.S.C.U.E. rope and give me wings so I can fly to where You are even if my grip fails me?

See I'm going through crap again.
I'll willingly go through Life's rock and roll and at the end of the day, I'm just going to look back and regret.
Yep. Regret. That's the word!

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