Sunday, June 6, 2010

My God

June Act wasn't the greatest success but at least people turned up.
It was a number of people that we could get personal with, that we could all introduce ourselves to.
And I'm guessing that it was God's will for that to happen.
I got to know what some people thought about God, which is definitely what we cared about: we wanted a response and if it wasn't the choice of choosing Christ, then at least we had planted a seed in their heart.
Michelle my sunday school teacher would like me to write an article about June Act, so I'll save the juicy highlight and most important message of the article- so I shan't type it here.
Today, as I was worshipping at church, I thought about how my secrets may have disgusted some of my friends.
The word 'disgust' just broke me down immediately.
What I've learnt is that not every friend can accept you for who you are- all your dirtiest secrets must be kept from some people.
Like duh. I make the stupidest mistakes eh.

But I just remembered what Diane told me: I make a mistake then I blame myself like nuts over it but in the end, God turns the situation around and uses me as a blessing in people's lives.
He shows me His grace and that He's got it all in control.
This is a tiny analogy but I was really amazed at what happened:
In class, we worked in teams of four to write a story.
This story must have a problem, a climax and a resolution a.k.a. problem solved.
Person A comes up with a problem, Person B aggravates the situation, Person C ends the story with a solution and Person D serves as an editor.
Every person gets only fifteen minutes to write his or her part and you log it in.
I was Person B. So we used the Blackboard's tools to log in our parts and all my descriptions that added suspense to the climax of the story was erased.
Yes, erased. Apparently the system gave me a tight slap on the face and poof! All that effort I had undergone to write a good (personally, i thought it was good) climax was kapoot. Zero.
I got so annoyed that I wanted to cry right then.
Miss Wee told me to just write two sentences and it was the most abrupt thing I had ever written.
"He tried to find a mop. But NO MOP."
I was thinking "ahhh why does this always happen to me, why God, why ME."
And amidst the worrying, I was teased and at that point I was already boiling. Like at a hundred degrees Celsius.
Miss Wee said "maybe it could be a good thing, who knows!"
So our story was finished in the end and lo and behold, we had the most stunning story that the teacher kept praising continuously, with my two sentences being the most important contributing factor to the birth of such a great, light-hearted story.
Right there, right then, God showed me how He is in control of every single moment in life.
If He can determine where pool balls end up after hitting the cue ball, then imagine how much more control does He have over our lives!
If a game of cue ball requires such a great amount of accuracy and that the Lord Himself MADE ACCURACY and all things 'intangible', imagine how CAREFUL He really is when it comes to our future, even in our crumbly and broken state!

So as I sobbed with hands cupped over my eyes as I stood in worship, my Spirit was in awe of how the Lord can accept me for who I truly am and I asked and BELIEVED with the faith that the Lord will be able to use me for His glory - no matter how broken I am.
Because my God uses the weak to lead the strong.
Because my God is the lifter of my head, the God of change, the God of grace and, ultimately,
the God of Love.

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