Wednesday, December 16, 2009



I was seriously shocked. Like shellshocked. :O :O :O 
The worst dream I've had, ever.

But above all, something for someone. A rant? Whatever.

You've changed. You've changed to become someone you never wanted me to become. And I'm sad, I'm worried sick- I don't know what to do. So I guess I'll just keep praying, keep asking God to see you through this phase. Yes, PHASE, because I will not allow it to stay with you for life. There are better things. People always say 'it's a long way to happy'. But no. That's because they're discontented. Contentment is a state of mind! So look at yourself in the mirror and remember that we are all made in the image of God. Have you seen me? Have you ever asked yourself how inferior I've felt about my own body? And here you are doing shit to yourself. IT HURTS. Ask yourself why you're doing this. Face up to the motive you've so snugly hidden inside your heart. I can somewhat see what it is but I can't face it for you. I can't even tell you I see it because you might come up with a whole list of excuses that my ears may bleed while they listen. I don't want your excuses, I don't want your pretense, I just want you to know how much I love you and how much He loves you. Then you will embrace this love and face this motive. Because perfect love drives out all fear. Because giving Jesus up for you and I wasn't for fun or for show. It actually hurt him. So woman, I'm going to tell you now that I am SADDENED. Like GRIEVED. If I can feel this ache, imagine what Jesus feels for you. I love you and I will never want anything bad to happen to you. Because you are destined to be used mightily for God's plan. To heck with the devil. HECK.

Your love, oh Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my high voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings

16TH to the 21ST

 I'll be away with my family. 
And I will be looking upon God's beautiful creation while I am there.
He is with us in every part of the world, throughout the seasons and throughout the bad dream that had my heart racing at 4 in the morning. My point is that He is with us. 

And I can just about guarantee that as I whispered "Jesus" when my heart was palpitating, a calming, fuzzy feeling swept over my entire body as I fell back into slumber. And He told me He was with me.

Mind over matter.
Logic over feeling.
Logic+fact being I am loved by the Most High God and feeling being fear.

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