TO READ, TO FEEL FOR, TO REALISE:
This post is for people who play minor or major roles in my life, your importance being significant to me.
So I've been thinking about stuff lately.
As my friend once asked "so I need to meet the conditions of being your friend?!"
It was from a quarrel and I've remembered it ever since.
This friend of mine has been by my side, through thick and thin, through much giving and taking, drama and euphoria - probably everything.
And in the end, she didn't meet my condition because... (I am very proud and thankful to say this) NATURALLY, she is everything I've ever wanted!
Like the kind of friend you'll think of as an angel, who understands you inside out.
So my point is:
Some of us have perfect friends, the friends that are like the needles in the haystack, the needles among many other fake needles.
But sometimes it's really tough to find a good friend.
So you kind of extend your hand out to anyone you meet along the way.
But for me, choosing my friends goes by the process of asking myself the question.
"Do they meet the conditions of the friendship I truly want?"
Because only by this way can my friendships be real, lasting and true.
Definitely there are seasons in our lives where some friends are not there, because of a fall out/misunderstanding.
It's only right that we forgive, move on and through time, we will learn to miss each other, learn from our mistakes and start talking again :)
It doesn't mean once you leave, you're gone forever.
Friendship is not a one way thing.
Understand this, meditate on this, know this. It is a fact. (general knowledge could come in handy)
So I shall take the question to be the focus of my post today.
Do you need to meet the conditions I require of in a friend?
The answer is yes.
This is the one and only condition I have in mind and always will use to choose my friends from now on.
Choose. Not judge, not criticise.
The word is 'Choose' ah.
Never build your joy upon my misery.
That.
THAT is enough to flip me and enough for me to DESPISE you for the rest of my life.
An example is like saying you love me dearly but you subtly try to compare your body against mine or you're desperately trying to outsmart me.
Please, please be careful about your body language or where your eyes go.
Sometimes I've seen my friend's eyes bounce from my fats to their own stomachs and then to my face.
So it's like: Ling's fats, then my own fats, then Ling's face.
It's as if you're trying to see or analyse whether I can live with being fat.
HEY. I'M BIG, I'M FAT AND I'M ALIVE WITH WAY MORE SECURITY YOUR TREMBLING HANDS CAN HOLD, WITH WAY MORE JOY AND HAPPINESS THAT I HAVE IN GOD.
So don't forget that I've got eyes too. And they're big - OHH THEY'RE MASSIVE.
And they look around corners where your selfish ambition and bitter envy lurk.
Don't forget that I'm an art student. I observe. I observe...alot.
I also listen.
I use all my senses in this process.
I also munch and excite my tastebuds as I walk with you!
So I better make you understand before you doubt the stand I take today.
Once a friend asked me "why do you wanna go on a diet when you know it'll make you unhappy? why not just choose to be happy when you can?"
Honestly, I wasn't very happy when I was fatter.
Because people were mean, are mean and always will be mean.
So I asked myself that question last year too.
"Why do you wanna go on a diet?"
Then I realised that I wanted to go on a diet because I CAN, because I DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, because I can show fat people like me that WE'RE SO MUCH STRONGER, we've so much MORE DEPTH than people who scowl at their bodies in the mirror, and that we're actually making the effort to TAKE CARE OF OUR BODIES.
It's called SELF-RESPECT.
This is why I want to be on a diet. This is why I'm not afraid to go to the dietician today to say I'm going to do this well and stop getting off track. And if you are a friend, you will not say "yeah right" to me, you'll say "hell yeah, if you can't resist temptation, I'm here for you to distract your mind away from food."
This is why even if the paper has published that low carb diets cause moods to decline, I'M STILL GOING TO BE HAPPY.
SUPPORT ME OKAY BFFs <3
If you want to do that to me, don't waste your time.
Hold yourself together man, especially please TRY TO GAIN CONTROL of those eyes of yours that bounce uncontrollably at models to pretty faces to your own.
I'm not your scapegoat, not your pushover.
I'm not your sweet, quiet rag doll that you can drag around and sadistically have fun with in the corner of your mind.
Your mind is actually rotting!
So leave your sardonic laughter to someone else's ears to enjoy. Lay off mine.
Live high, live mighty, live righteously.
Sure, challenges spur excellence, but don't challenge yourself to become the hottest shit on earth.
Because contentment is a state of mind we should all try to achieve.
Then we'll stop asking for more, then we'll stop being materialistic and start seeing life in a different light.
That there's so much more and that "everything is connected".
From attitude to behaviour to making the people you love feel happy to being a sincere indivdual.
BABES!!! ENJOY YOUR SINGLENESS. ENJOY BEING LOST IN THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SINGLE.
BECAUSE GOD HAS SOME MIGHTY WARRIOR IN STORE FOR YOU.
BECAUSE THAT MIGHTY WARRIOR IS GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL SEXY, WANTED, GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AND HE'S GONNA BE YOUR BEST FRIEND WHO LOVES GOD, HIS FAMILY&FRIENDS AND DEFINITELY, YOU:)
Enough said.
My back and neck are aching like hell.
Vanida, Lynette, Alawiyyah and Syahidah have been awesome Red Camp mates:)
*WILD WILD WILD*
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