World: you burn

Last night = the most fun I'm gonna ever have in ages before the O Level exam kicks my ass sore.

Angel + Eric + me = funny funny funny talk shit funny funny giggle sing dance funny funny bleah

Hello.

I have exactly 14 minutes to let you into my brain to explore what I've been thinking about today.

Sunday.

Woke up at 7.35 and spent 10 minutes lugging myself out of bed.

Got ready, got into my blue dress, eye-liner application was easy, grabbed my Bible and got into the car.

Rumble rumble rumble.

"Bye Dad! I'll call ya later when I wanna come home!"

Walk walk walk. Huff puff up the steps.

Sang with all my heart the lines: "Though my world may fall, I'll never let You go.."

Worship was over.
Trot trot trot up the steps with Char and Lawrence.

Passed around the remainder of the lollies I kept for a week in the fridge and listened to Dean in class.

He shared about Missions today.

Missions being us doing God's work about letting people know about Christ and even reaching out our hands to people who need us.

That was when I realised I was being selfish.

Angel and Eric were eating at the shops opposite Cineleisure last night and an old lady came to our table, begging.

I didn't give her money and even told Angel not to give her that 2 bucks she had.

But she did anyway, and she said maybe the woman could buy herself a bowl of noodles.

But I shook the thought off anyway.

Till this morning came.

I realised that even if I didn't want to give her the money and not know what she would spend it on, I could have provided for her by buying her a drink or a packet of food.

I was being selfish last night, and its people like us that indirectly rob them of their money and not even want to give any back.

It's called the cycle of poverty.

Here's a video that Dean let us watch today.

I'm so going for Missions.

I don't wanna just have a music/art studio and get a husband and do shit and have kids and get a cat.

I wanna dream big things for God. 

- -- - -- - - ---- no response

i've never cried over a friend like this

it's just

freaking hard to live with the fact

that you probably don't need me anymore

when i need you

when i need you so bad

cos you know what to say to me

you're just so worthwhile

i didn't forget the time you ran up and down the esplanade looking for me

i didn't forget

at all.

cos that's how much you love me,

don't you?

don't you?

Best Friend?

you who is really the best and just way, way irreplaceable..

don't you..

and as i type

tears are falling

onto my shirt

into my bra

i'm in pain

this is pain.

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you
Now I can't stop

I want you to know that if it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I love you enough to let you go. 

Once we start, we ain't gonna stop! OHHHH!

 Dearest Vanida Loh,

I didn't call you 'best friend' because I felt like it.

Or because you helped me to cut my hair.

Or even because of the most heartwarming fact: you've been carrying me on your back this entire week.

It's because you understand.

I think you have a gift, the gift that I didn't really realise I had, until somebody told it to me.

Empathy.

You don't read me like I'm some bloody literature text or poem.

You don't analyse me and observe my weird ways.

I'm actually significant to you!

So significant that you actually put your entire sole into my shoes and see situations through my eyes.

You put your entire foot down into my shoes! Not only your toes.

That I'm a friend you'll always want to retain and have.

A friend you don't want to discard.

Not a disposable, not somebody who is here but gone tomorrow.

Not somebody who will be there but whose presence makes no difference.

You tell me that I actually make the difference, whether there or not.

And I'll always be here, carrying you on my back when you need me.

I'm strong enough to, I am :)

I love you awesome chick, to the max :)

Love ya loads,

Ling

Sometimes the coldest and thick-in-the-head-est people inspire me to write poems.

Dizzy: Blood Pressure At Its Lowest

You are a hole that tries to swallow me whole

But I'm runnin, I'm gettin out of this rut

You who tried to make me play the antagonist's role,

You who swore to me that I had no gut

I've been sinking, spinning

Like a whirlpool, uncontrollable and blue

Lights are shining, blinding,

I'm falling into hell, and so are you.

But revenge is sweetest at its best

Revenge that is subtle, tiring for you

To watch your knees bleed on shattered smithereens

To watch the righteous rise to perfection, brilliant white, pure and clean

To watch the hurting make their stand

Their tragic complaints of war can thus, come to an end

Make sure you be there to see me

Me on the stage, me who shall lead, fight and fucking defend

I am dizzy

Dizzy with hope

Dizzy with the victory of you being gone!

Gone is the fire that was once fiercely ignited within me

It has finally left my bones

Blood pressure at its lowest

Faint, faint

But knowing all the while

Your sainthood will never be gained.

- - - - -

S.T.U.D.Y

STOP THE UNDERLYING DEATH YOGA for the Singaporean student's brain

SCHOOL WAS SHIT

BUT NIDA, ANGEL & ERIC MADE IT ALL BETTERRR 

Flashing. Heart to Stone. Heart to Stone.

Woah.

I feel good.

I had a Wonder-Nap.

Brisbane at the end of the year.

BEACH + MARINE LIFE + SHOPPING + RON + FOOD = Paradise.

GO AWAY, Queensland!

If I couldn't get THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, don't talk to me!

But anyway.

This post is for a friend turned best friend.

Your tolerance is nuts.

I could never be like you, never be this tolerant of everything.

I broke it and I'm happy I did.

One day it'll be what I did for you too. (L)

Minority.

Heart to stone, Heart to stone.

"I have you and you have me."

You know what's important in that line?

"You have me."

When God puts giants in our lives,

He wants us to have faith and to listen to His voice,

that we are able to OVERCOME them without fear.

To always know that He loves us.

And damn it, that's ALL that matters to me.

Hey you remember this line?

"We don't need the world."

You.

Take me as I am.

Because emotions that are to be controlled will slowly turn fake.

And I will no longer be the person you knew.

If you'd like it, if you'd like it.

But I'll never change for you.

Because I didn't purposely choose that bloody time to cry.

Words, the easiest medium to slice and cut.

I never did hear you say it in my ear before.

But now that I have, the first cut is always, ALWAYS, THE DEEPEST.

"i'll put a spell on you.. and when you wake up you'll realise that you love.. me."

Awww AQUALUNG :)

Miss Superficial is out and about, beware the Fakers/traitors, baby

Thou shall make it very clear.

I WANT A WHOLE COLLECTION OF WAR MOVIES ON DVD FOR MY BIRTHDAAAAYYY!

Also,

MELBOURNE SOUNDWAVE TIX ARE SOLD OUT

So that kinda leaves me with Sydney or Brisbane. *wails*  

Today is Sat-er-day.

I am back on my diet plan now after thinking it through with my mum's encouragement :)

I realised my mum knows me really well and its just bouts of miscommunication and my silly angst that tears us apart.

Prelims are over I repeat OHHHHH-VURRRR

I can't really remember this week's musings but I know I've been blessed (seriously) to personally mark the long-awaited end of the exams with good friends.

I can only remember a type of hurt.

It could be amplified with Paramore's new song, Ignorance, from their brand new album "brand new eyes".

It's a kind of betrayal, a kind of slap-in-the-face motive that leaves you feeling throbbing pangs of pain.

It (effing) hurts, ohyesitdoes.

People have told me that I shouldn't stoop to being that type of friend and I shall not, even if I really feel like hitting you and for telling you that one of the reasons why I'm dead is because of what you did to me.

But then again, think about what life has for you, Liling and think about how dying for a broken friendship is worthless - just like slaying demons, you're trying to slay a feeling when you can't even slay your ownself.

*sigh*

Met a new friend last night!

Angel and I were out at Island Creamery and there came along Eric!

So we took a walk along Cluny Road,  pacing along very freaky vines and dark trees to see some house with a fountain.

Ooooo but the walk was worth it!!!

That mansion is GORGEOUS. It looks like a palace, I can't believe I haven't been into that place before.

The gates are MAGNIFICENT, entirely parallel to the European palaces you see in Paris or Buckingham Palace, even.

And the fountain was just so beautifully lit up! It was radiating so much glow that I wanted to faint and see if the residents of the place would pick me up and let me in.

Thennn we took a hike (haha) through the Singapore Botanic Gardens.

That's right, it's exclusive and only for creatures of the night like us because I named it "S B G" and said it in a Gossip Girl tone *wink

Eric was like "no fear no fear" (but he was secretly afraid HAHA) and I realised that Angel was quite funny because we were all very jumpy and Angel kept quiet most of the way because we were both scaredddd

"Eh Angel you saw that? That black thing running across anot?"

And she'd hit you and scream "SHUDDUP LA!!!"

Mmm it's a tad dark inside the ES BEE GEE and the narrow pathways were whoooooo *shivers!*

But it wasn't as scary as the last time that Angel and I went there alone because Eric came along, eh?:)

Funny.

Oh and Eric's a really good conversationist and he's bubbly, yeah, reallly bubbly. Yknow, like a bubble? :P

SO TODAY.

HMM.

I'M READY TO ROCK AND ROLL.

Then I gotta finish up my O Level Art prep work tomorrow.

Imma go nuts on white paper mannnn.

AND LIFE IS OKAY

BECAUSE

I KNOW THAT ANGEL, CHAR, NICOLE AND NIDA

STILL LOVE ME TO THE MAX:)

i love ya'll, best friends

Faker / Traitor

You pick :)

lovelove!

What makes me happy is that I have metallic chocolate brown nails.

(superficial statement but forgive me)

Frie_d

'N I am guilty just like you

You who tore open my heart

And scraped away the blackness

Helpful, joyful,

You who deemed me as Frie_d

'N I am exhaustion upon exhaustion

A lonely heap of argument

Spit and rage,

Spite and pride

I who deemed you as Frie_d

'N you came along
The point is that you came
Along with no fear,
With beer but without war
With blue but without cold
You whom I've deemed as Frie_d

But later, things change
Later my head is whipped around to
See you stoning me from behind
This behind I call 'back'
Back!
I thought you had it.

'N I watch you hurl hurt into my quivering pupils
My lips are kissed red and bruised purple
I like you, your way of doing things
It is sweet, in-my-face,
Straightforward, honest,
Honor, Haunting
Yes, I like this betrayal

And, N, N, N
It goes on and on and on and on,
n,
n,
n.

A poem by me about the betrayal of a friend.
It's nobody in particular, just something that I've been seeing among my circle of friends.
The repetition of 'n's gives a ringing sound, like betrayal being portrayed as a cliffhanger in our minds.
Forever present - forgiven, but present.
:) Hope you pretty babies like it.

Life just means so much when you have people who appreciate you.

For the inside; your heart, and not you on the surface.

Suddenly I'm not that vulnerable to hurt anymore.

I just look at the people who love me for who I am and ignore the people who have problems with me.

These problems that need accepting from others, not changing myself for people.

I realise that some people can talk things out and settle issues effectively, while others are afraid; they hide behind masks and think that others can't see through them.

But these masks are just so, so transparent that your heart hurts everytime you see how broken they are on the other side.

Your heart hurts, because you know that you are just like them, as broken and as tired of the world.

So this is when you want to step in to help.

You start to knock on the door of their hearts and ask if they could let you in.

You then contribute to the tiny fissures and cracks on their masks, making them bigger and more in quantity- until there are so many that they can't hold together anymore and everything smashes onto the ground into shiny smithereens.

This is when you hold their hands to walk out of their pain.

You are then called 'Friend'.

And it is a title you honour and appreciate and cherish.

:) mmhmm.

Faces are so beautiful.

I want to sketch and paint my friends' faces for their graduation gift.

Meeting God and making everything right with Him feels so good.

It feels so good to be pure.

When I drank the Holy Communion grape juice today, I asked God to cleanse me of the abuse I did to myself.

And as it went down my gullet, my entire body shook and I almost crushed the little plastic cup I held in my right hand.

Yesterday God gave me a thought, of making things right with me again and my left hand clenched itself tightly without my knowledge- the left hand that I committed my secret sin with.

Today it was the right hand.

Jesus is my Righteousness, and He will save me when I cry out to Him for salvation.

Give thanks with a willing heart, give thanks.

All of my life

In every season,

You are still God,

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to

WORSHIP

(You make it easier to be me)

We're so gonna have icecream later - (WIN)

SO WE WON THE LIT FEST DEBATE

AND IT WAS THE EASIEST VICTORY EVER!

THIS ISN'T EVEN CALLED BOASTING 

You would've been equally shocked at how unprepared the Proposition were.

Every speaker is given 4 minutes each.

We spoke so much and all that jittery nonsense was worthless- because the Prop spoke for 30 seconds.

We were just so, so pissed off because it was total waste of time.

But who cares, we got a trophy for Set Text Debate at this year's Lit Fest anyway :)

I pray for every parent's loss of their missing child.

Be it 10 days or 10 years.

That their child is somewhere safe and that they will never stop keeping faith.

'Could I trade my old shoes for new feet?'

KELVIN says:
you know i hate you
The morning is Cold but we Like it says:
im wearing something nice!
The morning is Cold but we Like it says:
what la
KELVIN says:
I ATE HALF A PACKET OF CARAMEL CORN TODAY
KELVIN says:
OMG LA YOU
The morning is Cold but we Like it says:
HAHAHAHAHAH HALF ONLY?! YOU'RE RETARDED! I GOBBLE THE ENTIRE PACKET! MY PAPA SAYS IT TASTES LIKE KEROPOK
The morning is Cold but we Like it says:
KEROPOK can NEVER compare to CARAMEL CORN
The morning is Cold but we Like it says:
you my caramel corn babe man kelsie wang 

I thank God for days like this.

Days when you have time for everybody, time for yourself and time to grin at the computer screen.

New shoes and new clothes tops it all off.

Being with a best friend even if we were drained of all our energy at the end of the day.

Seeing how God made a way because He knew I didn't want to give in to temptation.

Being home with Zakaria laughing at how I made my feet with new shoes on them talk to each other.

(I told him that if I were with him, his big toe could kiss my baby toe - mushy MUCH but I'm good at it!)

Eating caramel corn and receiving good comments and feedback about my influence on Kelsie (as of above).

The feeling of attending church tomorrow with a heart overflowing with praise for His good works, even through the bad and tough times.

The feeling of being able to breathe the same air as my Mummy and Papa are inhaling this very second.

Knowing I am a daughter of the Most High God.

Jesus, You make every second of my life - every trial, every suffering, every joyous moment - worth living.

I just hate going to Orchard Road in my school uniform.

I've started on my oil painting.

I figured that if I were to post it up, I might be instilled with a stronger sense of urgency to finish it!
I get lost in oil painting, I really do.
I've this O.C.D (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) of blending the paint in well and this takes about 15 minutes for one tiny part of the painting.
I'm so uncertain about my future; so Lord I need You to lead me, to guide my steps, to run this race passionately for You either through writing or Fine Art.

Monday is Be Yourself Day. I'm going to miss Mdm Teoh dearly. She's leaving us and never coming back):
Today was her last lesson with us and I realised she's really lovable. And comfy to hug!

I wonder if Nicole Tee put up the pictures on Facebook yet?:)


I love Tegan and Sara's old, old song "My Number".
Listen to it on Youtube.
They're the epitome of true blue Indie.
Oh. And Blue's my favourite colour.
I've been denying that fact for the entire time I've been alive since the start of the year.
I'm over the sun.
Peace and uncertainty never felt this good together.

 

No I didn't forget.

That's all your stuff on my wall.

I put it up yesterday. Saturday.

I didn't cry

I didn't show any emotion

But inside I felt this sore hole starting to form again.

I can't cover it up

Because everytime I pass by your Dad's restaurant

I ask myself if I did anything wrong.

I know I did, by giving up.

But we were both running away, weren't we?

So I ran first.

Because fear and pride was hot on my heels.

That song is Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone.

I put it on my MP3 just 2 days ago.

'Coincidental'?

I didn't pay attention to it but after reading your post,

I did.

No I didn't forget.

I wanted to ask where you were today.

But I kept quiet.

Pride was my best friend today.

Thank you for letting me go.

But now,

(Through tears and alot of pain

And sadness because I was just so, so misunderstood

But you would never try to see it through my eyes..

Still I love you too, enough, to push my barrier down and ask)

Could you let me back in?

By the way.

You spelt 'buried' wrong.

Paint

I went all out on my oil painting today.

It was so intense that I got irritated at anything that tried distracting me from the world I had been looking for the whole day.

A world that comprised of me and Art.

A world that I was seeking so desperately, it was probably the only thing I was living for besides God..

Today was the loneliest day in school, ever. 

So painting led me on to new roads, fueling the fire in my bones; like youth.

And I didn't grow old.

But the end came anyway.

I imagined myself living in an oil painting during the bus ride home.

That means everything painted inside had life, and it could move.

The scene would be what I was looking at currently outside the bus window.

The trees were blended with a million shades of green and everything was vibrant and beautifully coloured.

Then I imagined my face.

It would be of a few different shades of dark pink and light brown.

So I closed my eyes on the bus and imagined what my brain would look like.

It was hard to imagine that I would be painting it, because of how intricately designed the human brain really is.

Then I wondered, what if the food in the painting tastes like oil paint too?

But I disallowed that, I dismissed that thought, it was my perfect world.

Nothing shall taste like paint, but of the same sweetness as the food we put into our mouths.

The only difference is that, I'm locked in this world.

For once, I felt insecure today.

I felt weak.

I realised what an emotional wreck I really am.

And people in school can't handle that.

They call me mad. Mad.

Only two people can.

Kelvin and Nicole.

Today I learnt to keep my mouth shut.

That I shouldn't share so much with people about how I feel.

Because if I were to demand any reciprocation back, the person will have to know that what he/she is going to say is meaningful.

Not a simple "hmm" and there we go.

It broke me today, after I heard somebody say that to me.

I didn't cry but it took my entire world by storm.

Extrovert Learns To Be Introvert At Times.

Not having Angel or Charmaine or Joseph in my school S.U.C.K.S

Sad.

Only these three have my whole heart.

"Oh we live and we learn.."

So I picked up my bag and said "I don't really have friends in this school anyway" and walked out of class for Art.

But I forgot to add something.

"Because my only friend has been snatched away and she has lost the heart to come back."

Wanting someone back = Taking the initiative.

I can't keep hanging on. I've been pulling in your bloody rope to prove the words 'Rescue This Friendship' but all you do is stick with her.

Dinnertime.

 Presenting 10-year-old Zakaria

 "When I'm feeling weak,

And my pain walks down a one-way street,

I look above,

And I know I'll always be blessed with love."

C5 was what I got for Chinese O Levels.

Not proud of it, no.

I broke down in the hall and screamed when Nicole and a few other people were there.

I told her "I just don't understand why God told me to have FAITH and He gave me a DAMNED C5?!"

Vanida and I were so tired of crying that our heads hurt.

Hers is a different story, she did better than I did but it was a pity because of circumstances.

Got through the day. 

I laughed again, felt so much better all at once.

I came home and I thought about whether I should retake it.

And I asked God. "What has faith got to do with it."

So there it was. That orange book with a blue and white circle for a design.

I picked up my Bible and I flipped to James.

I didn't know I would find my answer there, the one I had been asking God for the entire day.

"Faith without deeds is dead." - James 2:24

Hit me like a sack.

God taught me something today.

Not to be lazy.

To put in effort so at the end of the day, I'm able to reap a bountiful harvest.
Faith = useless without action.

God gave me so many friends to be there for me today.

I didn't care if people looked at me with pity because my face was flushed, my eyes sore and my nose red like Rudolph's.

I only cared about what Jesus thought of me.

The best.

He made a way out for me.

My Dad and I discussed that retaking it would take too much time.

At least it's easier to clinch an A1 for Math than Chinese.

That's because Chinese is a language based subject and I honestly think that all I can get, even if I retake, is a B3.

So goodbye Chinese and hello Math and POA.

I'm satisfied. 

Because all the Chinese lessons I had didn't go down the drain.

"Huh? What the hell do you mean?! That cost you loads of money for tuition!!"

Yeah it did. But those lessons came with morals, with life lessons, with the appreciation of the simple things in life.

Like listening to Lao Shi through tears as she broke down the walls of my pride and told me where I had gone wrong in making a decision.

Like listening to Lao Shi tell me how actions speak louder than words, and that putting Christianity into practice was important.

She's Buddhist.

Like feeling like a daughter to her and feeling like she was another mother.

It was the entire heart of it. The lectures, the jokes..

That's why I'm proud of being Chinese.

And knowing in my heart, deep down in this lil heart of mine, that I love and appreciate the Chinese culture and language dearly.

That I didn't give up learning it and if I had more time, I would retake the exam.

I love you Zakaria.

Ela alabad.

We're gonna get married!

Seems silly lalala but we don't compromise.

We believe in one true love, I guess.

Zaki and Ling

Ana bahebak (L)

"You have turned my mourning into dancing,

You have turned my sorrow into joy."

"Blessed be the name of the Lord,

On the road marked with suffering,

Though there's pain in the offering,

Blessed be Your Name."

Minority.


trying
is
the gayest thing
to do
when your heart
is stuck on some shit
you can't get rid of
this shit is sticky and irritating
it won't come off
even if i've tried painting over this sore hole inside
with layers and layers of acrylic
progress has been good, it has turned to look like insignificant fissures and cracks
but suddenly its ripped apart again
words
i need words
to describe this
but i can't
and you'd rather not listen
because
i'm just a whole heap of misery
cry, cry, cry that's all i've ever did
heart over head, right?
but who cares
you never did try to make everything better
so you know what


you and me
shan't do anything about anything anymore.
leave it be.
because that's what you've always wanted.
to get up and go.
damn it
you do it so quickly
so my conclusion is
friendship is superficial to a small extent
because it doesn't get solved
pity,
to be part of the minority.

- just something i thought about :)
hope you guys like it

"Someday" 

And if you go

You'd be tearing away a part of me

The part that I once trusted

That I once adored and felt comfort in

Felt good about myself

Said "the way you love me makes me

Love .. me"

Please don't say I'm merely a 'friend'

You told me I was your life, your everything

And if you leave

Won't you feel the strain too

Or was it such a coincidence

Yes, coincidence,

That your words were empty yet

Sweet like honey and laid on thick?

Loved the way you loved my body

(Hard and toned to perfection

Protective of all your insecurities)

Loved the way I laughed

Loved the way I'd spin you around on playground swings

Spin spin spinnnn till you'd go dizzy and tired --

Just like your moods

They go up, wheeeeeee! and down

Here I am

On the next day

Thinking about the way we had our last goodbye

Goodbye was

Just to make sure my heart does not overflow

Does not bleed too much

Once you've torn open a side

You have to seal the other

Seal it up well

Because I can feel the pain leaking, leaking

But if I am to lose you

Darling

Don't let forever last

Don't let forever last

Because forever was once my favourite word

Now, with you leaving,

Don't let forever last

Don't let forever be a must.

9.39

- 
A friend has had a rough time
Felt his pain, felt it all
Hope he feels better and trusts in God 
Just like the way I always know he will :)

"Our only kiss was like an accident - a beautiful gasoline rainbow."

"Ah I hate reflecting."

"But you always do!"

"Hmm."

And Ryan Yang told me through those few words that .. I reflected often:)

It's something I don't want to lose, ever. It's the way God talks to me about my actions and feelings towards people or certain situations.

This week I was spiritually ill-disciplined.

Like abusing my own body and who God has initially made me to be - good.

Like letting my flesh take over my spirit.

Giving in, giving up.

Today Mummy brought me to Orchard Ion and we ate Sukiyaki Nabe and grilled salmon at Watami Japanese Restaurant!

(T'was a Mummy-take-me-out-then-come-home-and-study day)

You have to queue for a period of time to get in the restaurant but it's worth it.

It's cheap (extremely affordable, in other words) and the food is more than satisfying.

Then we drove to Mercedes Benz. Mom showed me the new Mercedes E-class.

My parents are gonna get it - I'm not bragging b'cos it's my parent's business but I really am excited, it's the same feeling as when you're getting a new dog:)

I looked at all the other E-class models which looked quite bleah-ish..

Then we took the lift up to the third floor and there it was.. the model coated with Palladium Silver, the one my parents chose- it literally made me go "woaaah!"

 

So after that we drove back home.

And having talks with my Mom is something I'll always appreciate, even if the conversation might turn sour suddenly.

Because she sees the more mature side of me.

It's something we both have, we can get angry but we're quite gentle in nature.

Reader: *coughs* *chokes* *splutters* 

Ling: AHEM! 

I mean having gentleness of the heart, although we are not thaaat slow to anger. 

We have internal conflicts raging inside us and all but the other side of us is.. wishing the best for each other, even though it comes across in a rude and ill-meaning way sometimes.

Like true love :)

It's quite general, like the way Atticus puts it, "Some people are real nice (Scout), when you finally see them."

Then Mummy said "you should really thank Auntie Le Ling and Auntie Mei Hwa", the one who talked to me about Jesus and the other as a family friend who attends the same church as I do respectively.

I thanked God immediately in the car because it was as if she saw a change in me.

I'm going to keep praying because He moves mountains, even with that little faith I have - He says it's enough.

I just wish my parents will wonder more about life and who You are, Lord.

Had an awesome time with Vanida, Lynette and Kelvin yesterday.

We cooked loads of food like mushroom soup, tomato penne pasta with herbs & tiny portobello mushrooms as the mix, scrambled eggs and a bowl of Vanida's Mummy's home-cooked red Thai curry. 

It was loads of fun, until the washing up part came.

Kelvin was on the loose.

He kept coming into the kitchen and I threatened to pull down his PE pants.

He wouldn't stop sniffing in my ear which sent a trillion chills down my spine.

I bit him and he strangled my hands sore in his sumo power grip.

We were hurling each other across the kitchen with 'hahaha-stop-it-lah-pushes' and when I wanted to free myself from his grasp, we started rotating in circles in a retarded, blinding motion that made me scared.

I was left on the floor exhausted of that Thing charging towards me and 'wringing' my hands as well as laughing like mad for two times.

Sounds like a sumo fight I KNOW RIGHT hahahaha

The three of them put on masks. And that Kelvin, as usual, was cleansing his oily pores and slapped cleanser onto my forehead while I was watching MTV.

Loved the part where we were all singing on the couch to It Ends Tonight by AAR on MTV.

AAR's lead singer is hawt stuff isn't he Nida? :)

"Mummy there'll be a time where God will ask you if you want Him or not everybody gets that chance."

And she said "Oh really?"

Yes really, b'cos I know He's not going to pass anyone by.